Phosphor

Dumbass Enby Says Words

I wake up on a place unknown. The last thing I remember is Kanaya charging me. I deserved it. Somehow, at the last possible moment, there was a blinding flash, a splitting headache, and the feeling of somewhere...different.

“Huh. Something feels wrong...

“My quirk is gone? Interesting. It feels incredibly freeing to finally break myself of that, of my past.”

I suppose an introduction is in order, my dear reader. My name was Eridan Ampora. On my home planet of Alternia, I was of the second highest bloodcaste. I ruled alongside someone I loved, but then I murdered her. I murdered so many people in some vein attempt of protecting our planets oceans. It didn't matter, I knew it was doomed for sweeps, but I did it anyway. My planet was soon destroyed afterwards and I received my comeuppance, or at least I thought I did.

I could have sworn I had died when I saw that light, but looking into a nearby pond, I find my eyes are normal, nothing like the eyes of those I killed.

“What are you doing? Are you oka- Oh goodness you're bleeding, come with me, quickly!”

I try to get up and follow the stranger, but immediately collapse.

When I wake up again, I'm in what feels like a hospital. “Thank goodness you're awake.” said the human who appears to have rescued me.

“My name is Arlinn. I brought you to a healer I knew and trusted, are you okay?”

I try to sit up to talk to her, but I can't muster the strength.

“Please, continue to lay down, don't stress yourself.”

I lay back down and begin to speak. “My name is Eri, and I think I should be dead. I come from a planet named Alternia, and a friend who I betrayed murdered me, or so i think. However, this isn't death, and I am very much alive. Do you have anything, anything that can explain what the hell is going on?”

She whispers something under her breath. Something about planes. I have no clue what human flying devices have to do with my current situation but she seems like my only hope.

“Listen, Eri. This is going to be a lot, but I need you to listen. You are in a different plane right now. Planes are like...imagine if the multiverse was a big network of bubbles. Your home world of Alternia is it's own plane. You have a very unique ability shared by a select few individuals. You have the ability to planeswalk. The connections between the planes are incredibly hard to go through, but a select few individuals are able to move through them almost completely freely. The guild we are currently on is called Ravnica. Do you need me to repeat anything before I go on?”

I sit and think a moment. Planes, planeswalking, Ravnica, everything.

“Just one thing. You're certain I'm not dead?”

She replies immediately, “Beyond a doubt.”

I feel tears well up. I have never cried before, especially in front of others. I was to be a fearless leader, the most macho of men. To cry would spell death at the hands of a single uprising. I'm finally free of my past. No more facades, no more hiding fear, no more masculinity, no more Eridan. And I celebrate with tears.

“Thank you... so much. I've barely even met you and you've done more good for me than I will ever deserve. I've murdered countless people. Friends, enemies, the guilty, the innocent. All to hold some pretense that I'm the ruthless co-ruler to the one I served. I never wanted it. All I ever wanted was to be free, to be happy, to not have to put up the facade of masculinity and you've told me that I get a chance to tear it down, to do good, to be good. And I just-”

She hugs me. I've never been hugged before.

“It's okay Eri. I know how it feels. I know all too well. Stay here, I'll call the healer and the aesthetician. We'll get you into the body you deserve.”

I'm overwhelmed. It's a totally new lease on life. I'll be able to make things right again. I'll be able to be good again. All I can do is muster two words before falling asleep again.

“Thank you...”


When I awake again, everything about my body feels different. They did it. I know it. It's the exact form I've dreamed of. Its the body I always wanted. Years of pent up self loathing all finally going away.

“Eri, how does it feel?”

Arlinn is sitting right beside me.

“I feel alive. I feel like I'm in my right body for the first time. I feel...”

She says the words I've been waiting to say all these years.

“You're euphoric in your gender. I know how it feels. I was originally a member of a strict church. I was not allowed to transition and I was forced to massacre werewolves, something I would eventually become. When I did first transform, I murdered those who oppressed me and found a pack. There, an aesthetician helped me transition in much the same way you did. I was finally free. I was finally allowed to be who I wanted to be within my pack, and they learned to help me grow and helped me grow. I was finally free, I was finally allowed to live and be as I wanted to. When the multiverse presented me with the chance to bestow that feeling onto another, I couldn't pass it up. I couldn't let you die.”

I pull her into a tight hug. She had been crying for quite some time now, and I don't think she noticed until just now. I don't know how long we stayed there, but we stayed there for a long time, just holding each other. Eventually, Arlinn let go and got up.

“Eri, I've got to go. The voda of this vernadi is about to come through and would like to talk to you, and I know she would like some privacy. In the meantime, get some more rest. Transmogrification is incredibly exhausting for your body, and you cant risk pushing it right now.”

I thank her again before I lay to rest.

Alternative Title: Why I Fear the Mom Jades

TW: parental abuse, suicide and suicidal ideation

Lanque's existence and arc as a character is heavily dependent on those who live around him. He's a loving brother to Wanshi, and shares similar opinions of the more matriarchal jades to Daraya. These views heavily weigh into the character of Lanque, each to their own degree.

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The Lanque Article. Part 1. The Safe For Work Route.

Lanque Bombyx. The most controversial character to come out of Hiveswap Friendsim and this includes the artist who paints in the blood of her victims, Zebruh, Zebede, and a clown whose armpits you can sniff and go into a trance from. Lets get the basics down first

Lanque is a trans male jadeblood, he is a prospit dreamer and is lifebound, the only life aspect character in friendsim. Let's talk about one of the most important things in his character. Let's talk about gender and jadebloods

Gender and Jadebloods

Jadebloods are all AFAB, that we know of. For all we know one of them could be trans and just doesn't say it iunno but anyway. Let's assume for now that they're all AFAB, as this makes the most sense and is the easiest to talk about. This makes Lanque the ONLY male jade troll EVER. Next there's something important about jadebloods: they're forced into a life of abstinence, and are disallowed from romantic relationships. This puts Lanque in a Tough spot personally. He's a character based in rebellion, as all the jades are. However, he actually tried his best to listen to what his guardians forced on him due to being the eldest. He was made to set the standards for trolls like Wanshi and Daraya, meanwhile Bronya and Lynera are going out, having relationships, leaving the caverns to which they are bound. He's fucking livid and he lets this out in both of his major routes. Today, we'll be going deep on his first one. His safe for work one.*

(* IF YOU CALL IT THE VALID AND INVALID ROUTES I WILL BREAK INTO YOUR HOUSE AND BREAK YOUR GOD DAMN FINGERS)

THE ROUTE

The route diverges when you can either go to a big crazy party with drugs and sex and all sorts of fun things like that, or a poetry circle.

This is a great time to talk about one of the first major criticisms of Lanque, and why it's bullshit and wrong

CRITICISM OF LANQUE 1: HE'S A BAD REPRESENTATION OF THE SOFT TRANSMASC ARCHETYPE

WHAT? NO. HE'S A POET AND HE WEARS A FLOWER CROWN BUT HE'S NOT FUCKING SOFT? HE FUCKING LAYS INTO LYNERA FOR BEING A PIECE OF SHIT. HE'S NOT SOFT. HE'S PISSED AND AN EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE. HE FITS INTO THE VIBE OF THE ROOM AND TWISTS IT.

Okay now that my explosion is over with. This is one of his “good” endings. This is something I've always hated in games and will get back to later. For now, let's talk about Lanque in this route.

Lanque is a pretty heavy criticism of common transmasc stereotypes in this route. He wears the flower crown but it seems more spiteful than genuine. This is likely due to anonymous writer V being a big fan of fucking with people like this. They also wrote the route for Marvus and you can see this is something they're quite fond of. Lanque in this route is a fun way to look at what he feels about his fellow jades. He feels angry. He's spiteful. He's pissed off at the fact HE CHOOSE to behave and was called out by hypocrites for breaking the rules that his guardians chose not to follow. He's a big personality, he's an emotional vampire, he's impulsive, and he is Fucking Irate. Anyone with restrictive hypocritical parents can relate to this. Anyone who has had to sit in front of their parents chastise them for the things they themselves just did can relate to this. This route shows WHY He feels this way. The NSFW route, the party route, the route where you can have sex with a character over the equivalent of 19 (he's not a minor. He's facing immediate threat of being sent off planet. He's old enough so that he can fuck.) is the fun one. This is the one where he see HOW he lashes out and gets these frustrations out. And maybe, in the meantime, we'll learn a bit about teenagers, angst, suppression, and the message sex can have in a narrative.

Following YCS Chicago and the HUGE SURPRISES THAT TOOK PLACE (NO ALTERGEISTS IN TOP, LUNALIGHTS WINNING) I think it's the Perfect time to return to a discussion that was massively popular when the January F&L list first hit: Do Sky Strikers and Altergeists need to be hit on the list?

No

But I still feel like there's a massive gaping hole where certain hits should have been. This engine has powered multiple FTKs, drove Fairy Tail – Snow to be banned, and played an integral part in the victory of Lunalights at this YCS. That's right, I'm talking about Danger!s. Now before then let's talk about why it's okay that Sky Strikers and Altergeists got off scot-free.

The answer is simple. They're strong, but healthy and not overwhelmingly strong. While sky strikers had their dominance hitting Hornet Drones took them down enough of a peg to bring them into fairness. Altergeists in and of themselves aren't an overwhelming powerhouse and more thrived as anti-meta decks. While multifaker impermanence is still an incredible strong “stop playing” move it's not game breakingly so.

Now, about the Danger!s. Dangers are played in decks as copies of Upstart. People will play ten-twelve danger monsters just to have access to incredible deck thinning, but is this healthy for the game? While it does give lower tier decks more access to their one key engine card, I honestly have to say no. Dangers, while may be mostly docile for now, have already reared their ugly head in DDW FTK and the theorized DTD builds that'd get massive +s off Fairy Tail – Snow, allowing you to Book of Moon your opponents entire board at little cost to you. While they may be okay for now, what they could do in future is a terrifying thought, and as such I feel as though Dangers need to be hit sooner, rather than later. With the Dangers in the game, Konami has to design decks around them being a splashable engine, much like 3 drones skystriker. This heavily inhibits the way Konami can move the game forward as one small oversight can lead to a destructive powerhouse of mixed engines like Trickstar Sky Striker or HAT. All we can hope for is that future sets don't blow the game open due to this one archetype.

Quirks are easily one of the hardest, yet most fun things about creating a fantroll if that's what you like to do. Some people it comes naturally but for many others it takes a significant amount of time to create something they are truly happy with. Hopefully these simple steps will help you when making your next troll's new quirk.

Step 1: Be readable

For the love of all that is good and holy in this world please make your fantroll's quirk very easily readable. A quirk shouldn't require a guide in order to read and should be accessible to anyone who is reading your quirk for the first time.

Step 2: Reflect your character

This is probably the easiest and most understandable step but never forget it. Quirks in most troll lore are seen as a way for people to distinguish themselves from one another and this should always hold true. Think of characters like Vriska, who's love of spiders and the number 8 drives her character, or Folkyl, who's voidrot has affected her speech patterns, or Kuprum, who is just a 4chan joke.

Step 3: KISS

Keep It Simple, Stupid

May be patronizing, but it's also a vital rule to follow for something like this that MAJORLY helps in the other areas.

Step 4: Be unique

This goes back to quirks being a feature of differentiation in troll culture. If you keep your troll's quirk unique, you'll be able to fulfill that part of the lore.

Step 5: Break any one of these rules

Any of em. Smash it to pieces. The key to all great things is that it looks at what it SHOULD do and doesn't follow them. Now while you shouldn't go out making an illegible quirk that's an amalgam of other character's quirk, none of whom are similar to yours, it does mean that you shouldn't feel obligated to follow all of these rules to a T. I ordered these steps in order from most to least important. Legibility should always be Point Number One as you need to keep in mind any dyslexic people who might be reading your quirk. Character reflection is also incredibly important but in ways you might think you're breaking this rule, you can follow it. KISS is always a good acronym to have on hand because it's very easy to go overboard, but don't be afraid to dip your toes into the water. And not being “unique” can be unique in and of itself. This isn't some be-all-end-all guide, it's got some play in it and use it as you see fit.

Political Youtuber Contrapoints, also known by her real name of “Natalie Wynn,” is a face of left leaning Youtube, especially for transgender people. She's published a multitude of videos about gender, transitioning, Alt-Right organizations and groups, the full spectrum you'd expect from a left leaning political youtuber. However, Natalie also has an active Twitter account (@contrapoints) where she lets her thoughts be known and such. This is where she recently unveiled a few of her own opinions: Natalie holds transphobic and truscum beliefs, often held towards trans men and non-binary people.

Her most recent incident was after she replied to a tweet from user @theorygurl, who claims “OF COURSE trans women experience male privilege before transition are you out of your entire mind.” To many people, this statement almost makes sense, yet it leaves out a few key details. For instance, most of this privilege isn't used by trans women because they have to live in fear of being outed. They also may face marginalization because they're not seen as conventionally attractive, or they might be people of color. Said user went on to claim “this is important bc i would bet good money that not only are there plenty of trans women who experienced male privilege before transition, but also many of them, esp those exposed to feminism, transitioned as a way to atone for that privilege.” This is blatantly transphobic. Trans women don't transition to “atone for that privilege,” they transition because they are women, yet are viewed and born as men. They don't atone because they're exposed to feminism, they transition because feminist ideologies provided them a way to learn about transitioning, and told them about being transgender. This is similar to an argument used by many transphobes where they say media or trans people entering the mainstream “turns people trans,” when in actuality, these people are just introduced to a way to say who they are. She then goes on to agree with a statement where @theorygurl says “a broken clock is right twice a day” in relation to transphobes. While this can be true, it isn't with transphobes. It's hard for a digital clock to be right once a day when it reads “88:88”.

And yet, this isn't the worst of her statements she has made. Natalie made a video titled “Aesthetic”, which came under fire due to making some pretty suspicious statements that came across as very truscum-esque. For the uninitiated, truscum are a group of people who believe that, in order to be trans, one must have dysphoria. This is horribly incorrect, as gender and physical form have no correlation (one is identity, the other is presentation), and there are still feminine trans men and masculine trans women who are mostly fine with their appearance, and don't suffer with much dysphoria. This also usually coincides with enbyphobia, where “you can't just say you don't feel like a man OR a woman, you can't have dysphoria” or similar such statements, which I can personally attest to being wholly incorrect.

To bring things back on topic, Natalie posted a twitter thread in response to the Aesthetic video, a thread which is now deleted. One of the statements in that thread was “I'm sure this is not the experience of many NBs. I leave it to them to articulate what NB existence looks like in a binary world. I do not and cannot speak for them. But surely an account that begins and ends with “I'm not a man because I don't identify as one” is pretty weak.” This is textbook truscummery. This is the exact argument they use to decry non-dysphoric trans people. This is an exact argument they use to shut down non-binary people. She makes it painfully evident that she does not like non-binary people, and that she stands for having to qualify oneself as being “trans enough.”

Do not stand for Contrapoints. She is making a statement, and that statement stands in the face of accepting so many people who looked to her as a source of information and validation. She was in prime position to be what the left political Youtube scene needed, yet she threw it away in favor of being a toxic person in favor of erasing those she once said she was and stood for. It's a complete disappointment to me and so many of my friends who once stood by her as fans because of her content.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XHM9c9r12NcZ96cUPsTI3h1dOn-fgKq0/view?usp=sharing

I would post her more recent tweets but she blocked me after calling her a transphobe and truscum /shrug.

So remember how I told you I'm gonna spend an entire article talking about Magic Find Amulets. Yeah. This is that article. Let's go

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A Beginner's Guide on How Not to Fall Off the Passive Tree

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I feel like it's cheating to put Shadowverse on here, as the game barely even qualifies as having frames. The game forgoes a normal card frame in order to capitalize on being a digital card game, one where you can hide all of the information behind a quick tap or click on a card. As such, the average Shadowverse card looks something like this.

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